from Piercing the Darkness by Frank Peretti. pg. 333-334.
Tom, I am free. I could just see that Cross so clearly, just as it must have looked on that bare, forlorn hill two thousand years ago, and I was flat on my face before it, so weighed down with my wrongs, my boasts, my choices, my SELF that I couldn't rise an inch. All I could do was lie there, admitting and confessing everything and reaching out to that rough-hewn piece of wood like a drowning man reaches for a lifeline, and grabbing hold for my very life.
And how can I describe it? I apologize, but the words will not capture the experience: I had nothing to offer Him, no incentive at all for Him to forgive me, not the slightest item of value with which to barter or cajole. All I had is what I was.
But he accepted me. I was so surprised, and then relieved, and then, with the steady realization of what had happened, ecstatic! My offering--nothing other than myself, Sally Beth Roe, pitiful, failing, and wayward--was accepted. I was what He always wanted in the first place, and He received me. He lifted the load from my heart, and and I could feel it go; I could just sense it all drawn away from me and rushing ut to that Cross. I felt so light, I thought I would be carried away by the slightest breeze.
I was able to raise my head, and then saw the closing of our transaction: a trickle of blood running down the wood and puddling on the ground. The payment. Such a gruesome sight, such a discomforting thought, but really, to be honest, quite appropriate considering what Jesus, the Son of God had just purchased.
I am free. I am ransomed. I've never felt this way before., like a slave set free who was born a slave and never knew what freedom was like.
I want to get to know this Jesus who has ransomed me. We've only just met.
"Sally lay her pen down on the small motel room desk, and wiped some tears from her eyes. She was still shaking. Just beside her notebook, a Gideon Bible lay open to the Gospel of Matthew,chapter 11:
'Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Trust
“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:4
Last week in my Oral Communications class, we talked about relationships with friends. My teacher said something that I had to think about for a while. “In college,” she said, “strong relationships are hard to come by because we are studying and our main focus is our career and studies (for most of us anyway).” She continued to say, “Because of this, the strong relationships we do have and the few really strong relationships we make in college become even more valuable to us.” Now obviously at most colleges people tend to make a lot of friends. But I believe she was specifically talking about your best friends and family. The ones you will always stay in contact with and who have earned your complete trust (and viceversa). I was thinking about how many friends I have like that—and I have a few who are not family on that list. Friends like this tend to be considered like family in our heads anyway. What struck me about what my instructor said was that when we are in a spot where we need someone like that, we value those people more than ever. And with family often a good distance away, the number of these strong friendships dwindles even more. Now, I don’t entirely agree with what she was saying, but here is what I was thinking when she said this. Often our relationship with God is similar to this. When we are in trouble and everyone else has let us down, we turn to God. When we have nothing and no one else to rely on, we tend to value our relationship with God so much more. What I do a lot is wait till everything and everyone else fails me before I turn to God. I can’t help but wonder why I wait until I need God the most to trust in Him. Shouldn’t we always trust in God, in good and bad times. Pastors, at least with me, are right when they say that people tend to use God as an “easy button.” As annoying as it is to hear those types of sermons and the verses that come with them over and over again, they are so true. Many times it is the verses we have heard and read a million times that we never hear or read enough. The key thing to remember relates to Isaiah 26:4 (posted above) and Proverbs 3:5-6 (“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will keep your paths straight.). Remember that God has never failed us, nor will He ever fail us. His faithfulness will outlast everything. So put your trust in Him.
Last week in my Oral Communications class, we talked about relationships with friends. My teacher said something that I had to think about for a while. “In college,” she said, “strong relationships are hard to come by because we are studying and our main focus is our career and studies (for most of us anyway).” She continued to say, “Because of this, the strong relationships we do have and the few really strong relationships we make in college become even more valuable to us.” Now obviously at most colleges people tend to make a lot of friends. But I believe she was specifically talking about your best friends and family. The ones you will always stay in contact with and who have earned your complete trust (and viceversa). I was thinking about how many friends I have like that—and I have a few who are not family on that list. Friends like this tend to be considered like family in our heads anyway. What struck me about what my instructor said was that when we are in a spot where we need someone like that, we value those people more than ever. And with family often a good distance away, the number of these strong friendships dwindles even more. Now, I don’t entirely agree with what she was saying, but here is what I was thinking when she said this. Often our relationship with God is similar to this. When we are in trouble and everyone else has let us down, we turn to God. When we have nothing and no one else to rely on, we tend to value our relationship with God so much more. What I do a lot is wait till everything and everyone else fails me before I turn to God. I can’t help but wonder why I wait until I need God the most to trust in Him. Shouldn’t we always trust in God, in good and bad times. Pastors, at least with me, are right when they say that people tend to use God as an “easy button.” As annoying as it is to hear those types of sermons and the verses that come with them over and over again, they are so true. Many times it is the verses we have heard and read a million times that we never hear or read enough. The key thing to remember relates to Isaiah 26:4 (posted above) and Proverbs 3:5-6 (“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will keep your paths straight.). Remember that God has never failed us, nor will He ever fail us. His faithfulness will outlast everything. So put your trust in Him.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Quizzing
Saturday March 14, 2010 marked my last district quiz round ever (as a quizzer anyway). To a lot of people Bible quizzing is just too weird. They wonder why people spend hours studying and days quizzing over books in the Bible. I would say competition is definitely a motivation, but once you really dig into the Bible, you find so much more than what you need to answer questions.
I grew up in a family that was involved in Bible quizzing with the Church of the Nazarene. From top to bottom all six kids in my family have quizzed at least one year. When the fall of 2004 came, I was ready to jump in and quiz for my local church team, Ferguson. At first it was pretty difficult. I had a hard time pre-jumping as well as studying correctly. Ben, our coach, was very dedicated to the quizzing program and he gave and still gives us a lot of his time. He has been my coach for all six years I quizzed. He as well as the competition helped me improve. Throughout my years of quizzing I have managed to make the top ten in the district multiple times despite my small reputation for getting errors. Success, however, was not what made quizzing so great to me. Yes, my team does really well and winning is definitely fun, but the things I learned and the people I got to know through quizzing have been a big part of carrying me through high school.
In quizzing, I always see the same people every month. Along with other district and regional events I eventually got to know people. The people I got to know the most were my teammates. My freshman year we had two new quizzers join our team, Christina and Rebekah. They had moved all the way from New York. Getting to know them was fun. It is amazing to me how people in our own country have different ways of saying things and adressing different situations. They are good friends and also are really good quizzers. Them getting better motivated me to get better. It was also cool to see how their whole family supported each other in different things. Other people you get to know are the adults that take time out of their busy lives to be officials at our quizzes. J.D., Randy, Janine, and Patrick were some of the officials that volunteered from our church. Patrick even became the District Quiz Director which was really cool. I met different coaches and officials everywhere we quizzed and it was amazing to see them work with the quizzers. I know they are giving time to support a ministry that they know means much more than success.
In everything I do, I want God to be at the center. And it is very difficult to acheive that goal. Bible quizzing to me was a motivation to dig into what God is saying through His Word. From Paul's sometimes confusing letters to Matthew's Old Testament-filled gospel, I learned how to dig into God's Word. One thing I learned is that being a representative of Christ is not easy. I should always be digging deeper and searching for God's will in my life. For a long time I was putting walls around me. I was not a big fan of opening up to people. Quizzing, among other things, helped me break down my walls and get to know people, strengthen my relationship with Christ, and be appreciative of what God has given me.
To those who are thinking about quizzing:
1. Just study (really study) and quiz one year and if you don't like it, fine. Just remember
that the more you study the more fun you have.
2. Don't let the jump seats intimidate you. It won't take long for you to be flying off the seat.
3. As far as Nazarene Bible Quizzing goes, you do not have to attend a Church of the
Nazarene to participate.
4. Don't let other people deter you from not doing it.
Thank you to all of those who have volunteered your time this year. Thanks to all my fellow quizzers for your support, especially my Ferguson team and coach. We still have MAX and Q2010 left!
I grew up in a family that was involved in Bible quizzing with the Church of the Nazarene. From top to bottom all six kids in my family have quizzed at least one year. When the fall of 2004 came, I was ready to jump in and quiz for my local church team, Ferguson. At first it was pretty difficult. I had a hard time pre-jumping as well as studying correctly. Ben, our coach, was very dedicated to the quizzing program and he gave and still gives us a lot of his time. He has been my coach for all six years I quizzed. He as well as the competition helped me improve. Throughout my years of quizzing I have managed to make the top ten in the district multiple times despite my small reputation for getting errors. Success, however, was not what made quizzing so great to me. Yes, my team does really well and winning is definitely fun, but the things I learned and the people I got to know through quizzing have been a big part of carrying me through high school.
In quizzing, I always see the same people every month. Along with other district and regional events I eventually got to know people. The people I got to know the most were my teammates. My freshman year we had two new quizzers join our team, Christina and Rebekah. They had moved all the way from New York. Getting to know them was fun. It is amazing to me how people in our own country have different ways of saying things and adressing different situations. They are good friends and also are really good quizzers. Them getting better motivated me to get better. It was also cool to see how their whole family supported each other in different things. Other people you get to know are the adults that take time out of their busy lives to be officials at our quizzes. J.D., Randy, Janine, and Patrick were some of the officials that volunteered from our church. Patrick even became the District Quiz Director which was really cool. I met different coaches and officials everywhere we quizzed and it was amazing to see them work with the quizzers. I know they are giving time to support a ministry that they know means much more than success.
In everything I do, I want God to be at the center. And it is very difficult to acheive that goal. Bible quizzing to me was a motivation to dig into what God is saying through His Word. From Paul's sometimes confusing letters to Matthew's Old Testament-filled gospel, I learned how to dig into God's Word. One thing I learned is that being a representative of Christ is not easy. I should always be digging deeper and searching for God's will in my life. For a long time I was putting walls around me. I was not a big fan of opening up to people. Quizzing, among other things, helped me break down my walls and get to know people, strengthen my relationship with Christ, and be appreciative of what God has given me.
To those who are thinking about quizzing:
1. Just study (really study) and quiz one year and if you don't like it, fine. Just remember
that the more you study the more fun you have.
2. Don't let the jump seats intimidate you. It won't take long for you to be flying off the seat.
3. As far as Nazarene Bible Quizzing goes, you do not have to attend a Church of the
Nazarene to participate.
4. Don't let other people deter you from not doing it.
Thank you to all of those who have volunteered your time this year. Thanks to all my fellow quizzers for your support, especially my Ferguson team and coach. We still have MAX and Q2010 left!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Future
So I am in the middle of an intense research of college majors. Most of you know that I am a map guy. Every since I was little I have always had this interest in finding places and street arrangements. Most people think that puts me in the weirdo category. If you have known me long enough, I have been in that category a long time. Naturally, I want my college major to be in that category.
Throughout my high school life I have been bombarded with confusion on where my life should be going. Where does God want me to be? The future is always the hardest part. The unknown can be so exciting yet for people like me who don't know what exactly to do in the future it can be a little bit scary.
The truth is that in college I am looking for an affordable and excellent school that is not too close or too far away from home. That has a campus close to home and my brothers and sister's schools. It also, obviously, has to be able to academically serve my major. Right now I am looking at a major in cartography which according to many college search sites is actually a major. Cartography in the most general definition is the making and interpreting of maps (primarily making). It just seems like something I would enjoy.
My main point is what I realized today while at a prayer meeting. Due to snow, this prayer meeting was not very large. It just had me, my sister, two really cool people who happen to look like each other, and another cool person. This prayer meeting happens every week and is led by two of my friends (the really cool people I mentioned earlier). I am not sure what triggered it in my head--maybe the quick mention of college in the conversation. I am not afraid anymore. I am not going to hesitate to move forward out of fear. My future in a way is already decided. Wherever God leads me, whether to Flo Valley or to a university, I will praise His name. Whether in cartography or another major, I will praise his name. Just being around friends over the weekend and today has really made me thankful for all my friends and family and all the God has done in my life. My past and present situations were and are in God's hands. My future is in God's hands as well. I will not sit back lazily and mope about my situation. God has something waiting for me.
Throughout my high school life I have been bombarded with confusion on where my life should be going. Where does God want me to be? The future is always the hardest part. The unknown can be so exciting yet for people like me who don't know what exactly to do in the future it can be a little bit scary.
The truth is that in college I am looking for an affordable and excellent school that is not too close or too far away from home. That has a campus close to home and my brothers and sister's schools. It also, obviously, has to be able to academically serve my major. Right now I am looking at a major in cartography which according to many college search sites is actually a major. Cartography in the most general definition is the making and interpreting of maps (primarily making). It just seems like something I would enjoy.
My main point is what I realized today while at a prayer meeting. Due to snow, this prayer meeting was not very large. It just had me, my sister, two really cool people who happen to look like each other, and another cool person. This prayer meeting happens every week and is led by two of my friends (the really cool people I mentioned earlier). I am not sure what triggered it in my head--maybe the quick mention of college in the conversation. I am not afraid anymore. I am not going to hesitate to move forward out of fear. My future in a way is already decided. Wherever God leads me, whether to Flo Valley or to a university, I will praise His name. Whether in cartography or another major, I will praise his name. Just being around friends over the weekend and today has really made me thankful for all my friends and family and all the God has done in my life. My past and present situations were and are in God's hands. My future is in God's hands as well. I will not sit back lazily and mope about my situation. God has something waiting for me.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Purpose
Purpose. That word rings in so many people's heads all over the world. What am I doing here? Though many have attempted to answer this question there still has been only one with a solid backing to it. A pastor named Rick Warren (most have heard of him) wrote a book on this very topic. His book, The Purpose Driven Life, took the best-seller's list by storm. Just seeing the reaction to the book reveals what many people have on their mind. Why am I here?
For me the answer is so simple yet so hard to imagine or fathom. God.
I did not come to this understanding so easily. Probably the thing that struck me most was a sign. By now I am sure there are quite a few churches that have these signs. I was at Gateway Central Church of the Nazarene and on my way out of the property when I saw a sign that said, "You are now entering the mission field." It was there then that I began to truly grasp my purpose. I am surrounded by my purpose at this very moment. I am here because of God and for God, therefore my purpose is my mission field. My purpose is to live for God in the pitch black world that surrounds me, to live for Him in every moment good and bad, and to serve Him by sharing His message to those around me.
Currently, what surrounds me the most is the city (more like really large town) of St. Louis, Missouri. There are a lot of jokes about St. Louis relating to crime rate, food, sports, and even its water. Having one year where the city had the highest rated tap water and highest crime rate people would say that the water was literally "to die for." I get tired of the crime rate stuff eventually. St. Louis is really a great town but most people do not look past its reputation to see it. I have had many opportunities to see the need in my community, school, and church. This, currently is my mission field.
I will be honest with you, I do not have a clue what God has planned for me in the future. I may be in St. Louis the rest of my life or in Fort Kent, Maine. Who knows? I do not even know where I am going to college. I do know this: I am not just a teenager meant to sit in my comfort zone because I am not yet "at the age" to break out and be the person God wants me to be. God did not design me to wait eighteen years to serve Him. He set me here to be his warrior and servant. I love St. Louis with all of my heart. I love my friends with all of my heart. I love my family with all of my heart. I love God with all of my heart and I will serve Him wherever He sends me and I will show His love to everybody.
I challenge you to serve Him with absolutely everything. It is the most difficult task. There is so much riding against those who serve God. Persecution, Pain, Discouragement. Yet there is so much support. "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:58).
For me the answer is so simple yet so hard to imagine or fathom. God.
I did not come to this understanding so easily. Probably the thing that struck me most was a sign. By now I am sure there are quite a few churches that have these signs. I was at Gateway Central Church of the Nazarene and on my way out of the property when I saw a sign that said, "You are now entering the mission field." It was there then that I began to truly grasp my purpose. I am surrounded by my purpose at this very moment. I am here because of God and for God, therefore my purpose is my mission field. My purpose is to live for God in the pitch black world that surrounds me, to live for Him in every moment good and bad, and to serve Him by sharing His message to those around me.
Currently, what surrounds me the most is the city (more like really large town) of St. Louis, Missouri. There are a lot of jokes about St. Louis relating to crime rate, food, sports, and even its water. Having one year where the city had the highest rated tap water and highest crime rate people would say that the water was literally "to die for." I get tired of the crime rate stuff eventually. St. Louis is really a great town but most people do not look past its reputation to see it. I have had many opportunities to see the need in my community, school, and church. This, currently is my mission field.
I will be honest with you, I do not have a clue what God has planned for me in the future. I may be in St. Louis the rest of my life or in Fort Kent, Maine. Who knows? I do not even know where I am going to college. I do know this: I am not just a teenager meant to sit in my comfort zone because I am not yet "at the age" to break out and be the person God wants me to be. God did not design me to wait eighteen years to serve Him. He set me here to be his warrior and servant. I love St. Louis with all of my heart. I love my friends with all of my heart. I love my family with all of my heart. I love God with all of my heart and I will serve Him wherever He sends me and I will show His love to everybody.
I challenge you to serve Him with absolutely everything. It is the most difficult task. There is so much riding against those who serve God. Persecution, Pain, Discouragement. Yet there is so much support. "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Questions
You know it is rather interesting how much people think they know something about someone or something but could end up being completely wrong. I have been on the wrong side many times and have definitely been surprised on many occasions. People have thought some things about me that are wrong. The most recent was someone asking why I don't like hugging people. Where they got that I have no idea. My family would laugh if someone told them that. The truth is I have absolutely no problem with hugging people as long as they are a good friend or family member. I am aware that hugging can be awkward so I definitely don't push the matter. One would, however, judge correctly by saying I am an introvert and that I don't like country music. Most likely taking a scripture out of context, "The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought know" (1 Cor 8:2). Naturally how I act could easily lead a person to believe something about me that is completely wrong. So I was wondering if how I act hurts how I represent Christ. Do people see how I act and make assumptions about what Christians are like? I certainly don't want to misrepresent Him. But I do know that if I live for Christ and give Him control of my life people will see Him through me. His sacrifice has given me life and I do not want to waste it.
(this thought was not apart of my systematic thought process, but i mean every word)
(this thought was not apart of my systematic thought process, but i mean every word)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Builder
I am a builder. A good one. My specialty is walls. Big walls with the most support possible. They have to be tall, but they are never tall enough. They have to be thick. But they are never thick enough. I am building to hide from something. It is scary. If it is revealed it will break down everything. Everything I built to support and protect myself will come down at its feet. It reveals more than I ever want to know. In reality, I actually do know it...but i don't want to. Thus the reason for the walls. They hide me from it, for a while. But eventually those will fall so I have to build new ones. I am good at this because of my experience, but it is coming faster and with more strength. It is an overpowering force that takes the sheer limits of my skill and strength to hold back. My walls require more effort each time to stop it.
It has been almost 18 years. It won. It broke through and shredded every ounce of my flimsy foundation. It was the truth.
I am a sinner. A good one. My specialty is hiding the fact that I am a wretched sinner. Why? It tears down everything and makes me feel useless and hopeless on this earth. It condemns me to a pit of unimaginable pain and suffering. But something else came through that wall that I did not expect.....
Hope. God, the guy I turned my back against, sent His Son to earth, a place reeking of sin. His Son lived a perfect life. Not to show off, but to do this: Die for me. God put Him where I should have been and slammed all the weight of my sin on His shoulders so that I would not be condemned to the such pain. His sacrifice conquered my sin and gave me a way, gave me hope that I might be with God one day. Then, He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.
I have accepted this fact. His Spirit lives in me. I rejoice in Him with all of my heart. Though my life is rough at times, He NEVER fails. He is moving in me every day. His love surpasses any temptation thrown at me. Nothing else, Nobody else, can take away or overtake his love for me. I live for Him. My life is His.
The world is going against me
Evil is working its plan
But this is my prayer:
That Christ will shine through me
And into this darkened world.
He died for you too. He does not care what you did. He loves you with all of His heart. Stop building walls and help build His kingdom.
It has been almost 18 years. It won. It broke through and shredded every ounce of my flimsy foundation. It was the truth.
I am a sinner. A good one. My specialty is hiding the fact that I am a wretched sinner. Why? It tears down everything and makes me feel useless and hopeless on this earth. It condemns me to a pit of unimaginable pain and suffering. But something else came through that wall that I did not expect.....
Hope. God, the guy I turned my back against, sent His Son to earth, a place reeking of sin. His Son lived a perfect life. Not to show off, but to do this: Die for me. God put Him where I should have been and slammed all the weight of my sin on His shoulders so that I would not be condemned to the such pain. His sacrifice conquered my sin and gave me a way, gave me hope that I might be with God one day. Then, He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.
I have accepted this fact. His Spirit lives in me. I rejoice in Him with all of my heart. Though my life is rough at times, He NEVER fails. He is moving in me every day. His love surpasses any temptation thrown at me. Nothing else, Nobody else, can take away or overtake his love for me. I live for Him. My life is His.
The world is going against me
Evil is working its plan
But this is my prayer:
That Christ will shine through me
And into this darkened world.
He died for you too. He does not care what you did. He loves you with all of His heart. Stop building walls and help build His kingdom.
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