Builder

I am a builder. A good one. My specialty is walls. Big walls with the most support possible. They have to be tall, but they are never tall enough. They have to be thick. But they are never thick enough. I am building to hide from something. It is scary. If it is revealed it will break down everything. Everything I built to support and protect myself will come down at its feet. It reveals more than I ever want to know. In reality, I actually do know it...but i don't want to. Thus the reason for the walls. They hide me from it, for a while. But eventually those will fall so I have to build new ones. I am good at this because of my experience, but it is coming faster and with more strength. It is an overpowering force that takes the sheer limits of my skill and strength to hold back. My walls require more effort each time to stop it.
It has been almost 18 years. It won. It broke through and shredded every ounce of my flimsy foundation. It was the truth.
I am a sinner. A good one. My specialty is hiding the fact that I am a wretched sinner. Why? It tears down everything and makes me feel useless and hopeless on this earth. It condemns me to a pit of unimaginable pain and suffering. But something else came through that wall that I did not expect.....
Hope. God, the guy I turned my back against, sent His Son to earth, a place reeking of sin. His Son lived a perfect life. Not to show off, but to do this: Die for me. God put Him where I should have been and slammed all the weight of my sin on His shoulders so that I would not be condemned to the such pain. His sacrifice conquered my sin and gave me a way, gave me hope that I might be with God one day. Then, He rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.
I have accepted this fact. His Spirit lives in me. I rejoice in Him with all of my heart. Though my life is rough at times, He NEVER fails. He is moving in me every day. His love surpasses any temptation thrown at me. Nothing else, Nobody else, can take away or overtake his love for me. I live for Him. My life is His.

The world is going against me
Evil is working its plan
But this is my prayer:
That Christ will shine through me
And into this darkened world.

He died for you too. He does not care what you did. He loves you with all of His heart. Stop building walls and help build His kingdom.